from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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