I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Enjoy the penises
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
