I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
