He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
