it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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