this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
