The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
