She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
