let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
