hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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