Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize