There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
