I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize