Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
