honey bunches of taint.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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