kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
