google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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