playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
