just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
