her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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