I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
