well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
