It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
