Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
