just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
