My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i drank out of a bidet.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
