Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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