That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's Friday. Sex?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
