No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
