We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
