I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
