it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
