is wine microwaveable?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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