She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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