It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
