i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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