Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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