She tied me up with her honor cords...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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