fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
