Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize