Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
