yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
