Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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