she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
