ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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