Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
