Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize