Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
