did you get engaged???
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just want nice things and good sex
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
