we have pet lesbian snakes
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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