awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
