I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
