FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
