i just google imaged poop.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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