Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
