would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
