Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
