yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
