thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize