Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
