Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
