i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
