i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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