ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize