White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
