What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
