All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
