he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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